Dear Rudy Giuliani:

©Morad Bouchakour

Congratulations with starring in Sacha Baron Cohen's Borats Subsequent Moviefilm. I haven't seen it yet, but it was hard to miss the clip that was shared beforehand, I guess to create some buzz, of you in a hotelroom being 'interviewed' by Borat's supposedly 15 year old sister, played by the marvelous Maria Bakalova.

The least you could say about that clip, Rudy, was that you seemed not entirely immune to Ms. Bakalova's marvelousness.

Then again, who would?

Remember our little interview back in, I think it was 2005? It was a lot less touchy feely. You were promoting your new consultancy, which was heavily based on the sheer mythical reputation you earned as New York's, or rather make that the world's, mayor in the aftermath of 9/11.

In our interview, you didn't seem to care much about your likability, Rudy. To be honest, I'm sorry to say, you were a pompous ass. When you spoke, my eyes were drawn towards your mouth and lips. I know you can do nothing about it, but I commiserate with the person who has to undergo your kissing.

Still, I remember one life lesson you bothered to share with me, Mr. Nobody from Nowhereland, a pitiful hack with NRC Nothing. Two words, that, to your mind, encapsulated success: underpromise and overdeliver.

Now, as Trump's apologist, you're overdoing the overdelivering, Rudolph. I suggest you cut your losses. Your efforts to get Trump a second term are going nowhere. Even Trump knows it. When he speculated this summer about not leaving the White House even if he would lose the presidential elections, I thought: ah! Donnie is preparing for the downfall.

As always, you can take comfort in the fact that in America, everything is entertainment. But watching you running yourself deeper into the mud, is entertainment of the crueler kind. I would take the money and run.

Yours faithfully, and give my regards to Broadway, etc.