Visitor Satisfaction Survey

1. Did you contract Malaria, Dengue, or Aids during your visit?
a) No. But praying.
b) Yes, but recovering already thanks to wonderful Balinese health care industry.

2. What do you believe Bali polisi should do about stray dogs that are everywhere?
a) Force villagers to take care of them.
b) Shoot them for large cremation procession to attract tourists.

3. What was your best culinary experience in Bali?
a) Balinese rijsstafel at Ketut's place in Ubud.
b) Balinese 'chi chi wao kilung' dish bought on the street from warung, except from bad bowel movement experience afterwards, but thanks to wonder dokter all my problems vanished.

4. What do you think of Balinese sales tactics?
a) Friendly. Through their sales tactics I made many friends.
b) Aggressive, but I like aggression.

5. Bali famous for Legong dance. How many legong dances were you forced to watch?
a) 20 but they never bored me.
b) 0 because it didn't feel forced.

6. After visiting Bali, do you feel sorry for Bali Nine, Aussies who got heavy sentences for smuggling drugs in 2005?
a) No, I'm glad the Bali courts know justice. Drug smuggling is easily on a par with terrorist bombing of Kuta in 2002.
b) Maybe a death sentence for an Australian youngster is slightly overdone, except Balinese courts can assure the victim he will come back as a non drug smuggling sweetheart.

7. Do you feel that muslims from Java are encroaching on peaceful hindu Bali?
a) Yes. Encroaching muslims from Java should stop encroaching and leave peaceful Hindu Bali alone.
b) No, although I did see one mosque in East Bali that I though was out of place.

8. How many massages did you receive from lovely Balinese girls in flowery spa-environment during your visit?
a) 80. But 60 of those were forced upon me (kidding).
b) 80. But they didn't respond favorably to my request for happy ending.

9. What was your experience with Balinese taxi's?
a) There are no Balinese taxi's. Or everybody who owns a car is a taxi-driver.
b) Experience was great. Except that talking to driver is not recommended: taxi driver that tries to listen and talk back slows taxi down to walking speed.

10. On the whole would you visit Bali again, or would you rather prefer a destination without sweet, beautiful people, reasonable prices and interesting local culture, even if there are too many stray dogs?
a) Next time I will buy my own villa here if the prices come down, and Balinese women take up their old habit again of walking around topless.
b) Yes, and I will come back for 6 months to write a masterpiece.

Terima Kasih!